IMAGN THIS!

I'm in shock. I can't stop thinking, oh, my god. Let me begin with yesterday.

It was Sunday. I began work at eight am. It was a slow lazy day, with horrible customers who either had a) screaming children or b) couldn't organize themselves enough to place an order. I wanted to scream at them: if you are this uncoordinated, don't leave the house.

I was supposed to work until four pm, but due to the inactivity, I got sent home early. Not my choice, and I was not to thrilled to loose my hours, but what could I do. When I got home, my parents were already at the beach. I decided not to join them. I needed some me time. I decided to go on a run, one of few, since injuring my leg leaving me feeling like a 50 year old lady every time I move into running position or bend my legs more than 45 degrees. I posted a short blog on here and went for a run.

As I started, a red SUV passed with a licence plate reading: IMAGN THIS. Imagine what?, I asked myself looking around me. All I saw was sand, everywhere, in every crevasse, in the bottom of every bag, and sole of every shoe, in everything. I saw heat radiating everywhere, steaming from the roads, out of the cars and reflecting off everything metal. I saw cars, big monster trucks with awful sounding engines that dumped clouds of black oily exhaust. These trucks were driven by southern boys with short buzzed haircuts, red noses, minimal personalities and accents that confirmed their lack of, well, anything. I saw a go nowhere job. I saw mistakes. I saw the kid that lived with their parents their whole life. I saw a vast amount of flat nothingness.

Sweat started to drip from my temples. I turned up my ipod to drown out my thoughts, but it didn't work. I kept screaming at myself. Imagine what?. My heart began racing from my thoughts, this combined with my low blood sugar and high caffeine levels, and I continued to scream on the inside. Seriously, imagine what? Imagine this? Is this really what you want me to imagine?

I probably would not be labeled as a "go-getter" in any situation. I went to college because that's what you did after high school, because I didn't know anything else, because that's what my parents wanted, and that's what my sister's did. I never chose going to college. I never chose to move home after graduating, either. I did it because that was what was expected. So now, faced with the ability to imagine anything, I didn't know how to choose. I wanted someone to write me a letter and put it in the mail telling me what to imagine, what was next, what to do, where to take the next steps. I didn't care who wrote it or why, or even what it said. If it had said, jump off a bridge, at that point in the afternoon, I would have done it. Sorry for the cliche, but I was that desperate.

My run was miserable and tiring both physically and mentally. I could not stop screaming, imagine what?. If anyone saw me yesterday, I am sorry if I looked like a half mentally retarded, babbling, lunatic. Or a whole one. I was.

Today, when I woke, I was better. Again, I worked a long shift, this time I did not get cut early, but did feel the long hours and caffeine wearing me thin as I repeatedly had fits of uncontrollable laughter and mumbled unmistakeably to myself for minutes at a time. I'm positive my co-workers think I'm crazy. I may be. At least, I wasn't having a case of the Mondays.

When I got off work, I walked next door to Chip's Beer and Wine Store and bought a much needed (and much missed) six pack of Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA. Then I got fish tacos and went home to let the dog out. On my way home as I maneuvered my way through traffic, at one point, I passed a red SUV.

When I got home, I ate dinner, alone, listening to the dog bark. I relaxed. It felt good to be alone, but despite more than 24 hours passing, I still could not get the red SUV out of my mind. Really, imagine what?

After dinner, I logged onto my Gmail account. I began sifting through emails. I had an email from my brother-in-law. The subject read: "Possible job, but today is last day to send resume". Too late to do that. I had junk mail from CareerBuilder, the most recent calender of bookings from the Orange Peel. I scanned through it, no one I want to see. I took a gulp of my beer and swallowed it slowly. Flavorful, intense, delicious. I moved on. Junk mail from Conservation International. No, I don't have any money I would like to donate. I finally sifted my way through to an email sent early this morning. It's subject line read: "Are you still looking for work?" What?, I thought. Random. I clicked on it, thinking, this better not be a scam. I began reading: "The person we hired in may had to leave for personal reasons and I am about to re post the position you applied for last spring." I choked on my beer. Some dribbled from my lips. I cleared my throat and wiped my face. "As you were one of our finalists, I wanted to check if you were still looking for work and were interested. . ." OH MY GOD! No way.

It was all too good to be true. There had to be a trick, I thought. Dogfish IPA and a possible job.

The brilliance in life was so bright, it was blinding me. I finally knew what to imagine. I can't stop thinking, Where's the joke? What's the punch line?