Hospitality I.

loads and loads of people bring

life back to the lifeless sea

millions of sandals

gallons of sunscreen

I smile through it all

but deep inside i scream

you come and you go

or is it the other way round

the earth spins counter clockwise

and upside down

nights and days

lines they blur

work for the man

watch the medicine cure

sand beneath my fingernails

in the dog's hair

rough like sandpaper the sheets they feel

down the drain

wash it away

put a smile on 

sit all day

eat from the ocean

taste the salt air

in everything

but see who cares

swoon for the people

with pockets deep

overflowing with money

make our economy weep

i smile through it all 

but deep inside i scream
i just don't see how after everything

you still love me

new tune tuesday

Hi folks! This is "super" new tune tuesday, as it was announced yesterday that Jack White will be releasing a solo album, Blunderbuss, in late April. "Love Interruption" is the first released solo. Enjoy. 

Old Liver Jones sings the homeless blues

feet in the sand, nowhere to go

i'm all alone and without a home

nowhere to go

but i can't stay

loose like pennies rattling away

i've got nowhere to go

but nowhere to stay

gotta rest my head 

but don't know where

need to prop up my feet

take the load off

drink a beer, work the day off

sing a little tune

let the ditty sooth

but i got nowhere to go 

and nowhere to stay

rolling stones rolling away

i gather no dust 

cause I can't stay

run like hell

away from the fear

that dwells in my mind 

and puts up shop there

run, run, run but i go nowhere

nowhere to go

and nowhere to stay

homeless vagrants

make their way 

into my sole, begging away

i look in the mirror and all i can say

is i got nowhere to go

and nowhere to stay

and just so you know
when the night comes
its black like the void
and bright like the sun
the ups and the downs
the opposites collide
and carry me on this roller coaster ride
i scream until dawn
and fight at the sheets
i wake up in cold sweats
i don't eat for weeks
and when push comes to shove
i collapse with the weight
i throw up my arms or toss in the towel
i give it all up
i submit to the hell
i wait until dawn
to begin it all again
knowing that each day
brings back an end
just thought i'd share in the hell of this world
the misleading incidents
my fear of the hordes
surrounding me daily by all of the things
i hate and i love and i fear and i praise

A poem from a friend

I recently got an email from a friend entitled, to the danasaur. I thought I would share since I have been in a poem writing mood lately. 

she's a rare breed, matter fact,

she's an endangered species.

her heart's been broken and just

like mine it remains in pieces.

but everytime we're near each 

other smile is all we can do.

our shattered souls intertwine, 

i know i've felt the same agonizing 

pain that she's been through.

i find comfort in her grasp

so i reach out with both arms...

Thank you, Brenna. I agree with your thoughts completely, but I would make one change:

he's a rare breed,

for loving an endangered species such as me. 

If anyone knows where this poem originated, please message me. Thank you. 

control issues

power plays forced on in

words that sting and reverberate 

in the dome where my mind lives

power plays, unfair love

lack of penalty, confusion aired

the game of life 

unfair advantage 

does your age given you reason

to control, as bad as treason

wisdom sought but none regained

you simply forced another power play

without the penalty of the foe

just so you could have your way

this is not your life I say

two on one, this isn't fair

simply because it was me you bared

does not give you the upper hand

not your age,

wisdom, 

position,

all of this i misunderstand

i ask for your advise, you give me none 

you give instead your unfair demands

your power play will not last

so choose wisely when i say

if this is the game you'd like to play

i will not lay down and stay

where i live is my choice, yes

and also how i play the game of chess

so choose right now which way you'll play

fair or dirty

that's the only thing you can have your way

  

the weight is lifted

dream large
dream not in black or in white
but dream rainbows
dream bruises
dream storm clouds
and solar clouds

dream futures
dream pasts
dream avalanches
and glittery paths

dream dinosaurs
that evolve to men
or mice that swim with delicate fins
dream slimy things
and baby skin
dream everlasting dreams in which you lived

the weight is lifted so dream them all
waking tomorrow you won't know how far it is to fall

muse's weep

purple paints on the inside of my eyelids

dark like bruises come alive

light like lavender I can almost smell

dreams turn stained

and disappear

purple becomes my biggest fear

haunted by the array

of colors painted behind the lens cover

disappear when opened up

allowing my eyes to take a shot

photographing what there is to say

if only my eyes could scream all day

would they say what they really see

developing in hatred scream

blind as bats, but muse they be

my eyes never like what they see

so shut them tight, close the blinds

inside there are many more places to hide

beneath the purple incandescent lies

when opened my eyes are big,

but blind

stretch armstrong

poetic words screaming out
dance between shadowy bouts
back and forth and in between
hide and seek and living rooms
i search high and i search low
i never know which way to go
or where to find your caressing hands
upon my skin like quicksand

i look for you beneath the pillow
but i can't find you there
only dreams and scary things turning into nightmares
i searched for you in the trunk of my car
but i think you somehow got out
maybe you're roaming around lost in circles
reaching your hands out

i have tried to reach right back but i can not find
the fingertips rough and sweet
that encapsulate my mind
i wish for arms that stretch on out
as far as they can go
to search the earth both far and near
and follow where you go

but when i think real hard about where you might hide
i find my self looking deep deep inside
within a beating muscle
thump thump thumping away
i find something that resembles you
working night and day

smiles lurk upon my lips
when i think of you
working hard to keep my heart so in love with you

breaking the silence: how do you tell someone you have been hiding a secret

treasured sounds and blurring lines
without you nothing's the same
rain weeping on windowsills
reminds me who's to blame
pound pound pounding of the day
turns inside my brain
why do you whisper those sweet little words
brainwashing me to stay
i have done it again, one year in every ten
skipping on a record
i wonder when dreams will end
ensuring fate to force on in
what am i to decide the way
to bring on more dreaded pain
i barely remember my given name
forcing me to realize each day
without you nothing is the same

maybe it's lady lazarus who's to blame

My apologies (again)

I have been apologizing a lot lately. Not just here in my virtual blog world, but in the real, physical and emotional world, as well. But this apology is in advanced as opposed to after the fact, like most of my past apologies. 

What I am apologizing for, I’m not quite sure, for you see it hasn’t happened. I think I am apologizing for my absence. I think you will find this blog lacking a voice in the next few days, weeks or months. Either that or it will be an amazing outlet for emotional release, and then I apologize for the depth of my thoughts that you will endure. I hope it is the latter, but I am apologizing in advance for either. Partially due to the fact that I know myself too well, and I typically immerse myself in absence instead of suffocation.

My “absence” is a reminder of how life can be completely uncontrollable. I understand the needs of “control freaks” or those with OCD. The repetition in behavior acts simply as a regulation of life. As most lives are completely out of one’s control, and remain that way despite regulations or controls imposed by the individual.

This may appear quite contrary to "in the garden of good and evil", a post written in October by yours truly. I explored the illustrious idea that “for every reaction there is an opposite and equal reaction”.  So now you ask how in fact can I believe that one has no control over life or reactions, when I have clearly stated the stifling effects of yin and yang?

I want to point out that in one paragraph I speak strictly of an individual’s control over its own destiny. As opposed to "in the garden of good in evil", I speak of life as a system and a whole. These large differences in terms create quite another opposing act. Ironic? Or, not as much as it seems?

So in the end, one’s life is uncontrollable, whereas life in general is placed on a very delicate scale balanced only with good and evil. 

Life is still something I don't completely understand.