Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
In the garden of good and evil (very few of you will actually know what this post is all about)
We all consist of negative and positive ions. In fact, not just us, but everything around us, everything that has ever been or will ever be consists of a negative ion and a positive ion. A yin and a yang. A source of good and a source of evil.
It must be stated that I am not religious. I do not believe we will all end up in either heaven or hell. I am not superstitious. I have broken many mirrors and crossed paths with numerous black cats. I don’t believe in the little green leprechaun and his rainbow of luck. I do however believe that everything is interconnected and that everything is balanced on a very sensitive scale of equality. Not religion, but science and fact.
Many of my childhood memories have an underlying activity. The activity of waiting. Singing the jeopardy song after school when my mother was late. At the end of this song she will be here, I said to my bff. This was the day my mother had fallen on her way to the eye doctor. She was late because she was getting stitches in her knee. The pain I felt in my chin as I waited for my dad to get the doctor from church to stitch up my chin on our kitchen table. Waiting for my mother to take me to the hospital after crushing my hand in the school door. Waiting to sell our home in Altavista to move to North Carolina. The sound of buzzers and splashing water at swim meets and my mother saying don’t draw that on your paper. It was the yin yang symbol. Something my mom thought was wrong. I will never know why she thought this, maybe she thought it was a gang sign, maybe she just didn’t know, but I didn’t stop drawing it. That image, that yin yang, has been drawn on my school papers, diary pages, schoolgirl notes, receipts for as far back as I can remember. But until this moment, until yesterday, when I experienced yet another balancing act I didn’t realize.
You are probably confused. Does this sound like the ramblings of a crazy person? I’m sure you are asking, What didn’t you realize?
I’m sorry I cannot answer that question. I cannot explain the yin and the yang, the opposites, the balancing act. All I know is when I would read The Runaway Bunny as a child and lose myself in the beautiful drawings I would replace the mother bunny walking across the tightrope with myself. I never knew how true this would be. I am a tightrope walker. And it is easier than it looks, the world balances out for me, but in return I have to deal with the emotional change. I am still frightened of falling.
Today I will go to my beautiful college town of Boone. And again, like last year I will have both good and bad news to bear. The world has once again balanced out on me in this garden of good and evil.
It must be stated that I am not religious. I do not believe we will all end up in either heaven or hell. I am not superstitious. I have broken many mirrors and crossed paths with numerous black cats. I don’t believe in the little green leprechaun and his rainbow of luck. I do however believe that everything is interconnected and that everything is balanced on a very sensitive scale of equality. Not religion, but science and fact.
Many of my childhood memories have an underlying activity. The activity of waiting. Singing the jeopardy song after school when my mother was late. At the end of this song she will be here, I said to my bff. This was the day my mother had fallen on her way to the eye doctor. She was late because she was getting stitches in her knee. The pain I felt in my chin as I waited for my dad to get the doctor from church to stitch up my chin on our kitchen table. Waiting for my mother to take me to the hospital after crushing my hand in the school door. Waiting to sell our home in Altavista to move to North Carolina. The sound of buzzers and splashing water at swim meets and my mother saying don’t draw that on your paper. It was the yin yang symbol. Something my mom thought was wrong. I will never know why she thought this, maybe she thought it was a gang sign, maybe she just didn’t know, but I didn’t stop drawing it. That image, that yin yang, has been drawn on my school papers, diary pages, schoolgirl notes, receipts for as far back as I can remember. But until this moment, until yesterday, when I experienced yet another balancing act I didn’t realize.
You are probably confused. Does this sound like the ramblings of a crazy person? I’m sure you are asking, What didn’t you realize?
I’m sorry I cannot answer that question. I cannot explain the yin and the yang, the opposites, the balancing act. All I know is when I would read The Runaway Bunny as a child and lose myself in the beautiful drawings I would replace the mother bunny walking across the tightrope with myself. I never knew how true this would be. I am a tightrope walker. And it is easier than it looks, the world balances out for me, but in return I have to deal with the emotional change. I am still frightened of falling.
Today I will go to my beautiful college town of Boone. And again, like last year I will have both good and bad news to bear. The world has once again balanced out on me in this garden of good and evil.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
sand in every crevasse - I move in 2 weeks.
I have moved every six months for the past 2.5 years.
Move one: Best formerly red door house in Boone to sweet little grandma house.
Move two: Grandma house to OBX Mom and Pops house.
Move three: First Solo apartment (loved this place).
Move four: back to roommates, but add a dog and an awesome yard complete with garden.
And drum roll for move five: back to the OBX! Whew, that’s a lot of moving for someone who hates moving.
Hopefully, I’ll stay put for a while. Can you say, beach shack and the sound of the ocean? Am I too young to buy a house?
Move one: Best formerly red door house in Boone to sweet little grandma house.
Move two: Grandma house to OBX Mom and Pops house.
Move three: First Solo apartment (loved this place).
Move four: back to roommates, but add a dog and an awesome yard complete with garden.
And drum roll for move five: back to the OBX! Whew, that’s a lot of moving for someone who hates moving.
Hopefully, I’ll stay put for a while. Can you say, beach shack and the sound of the ocean? Am I too young to buy a house?
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
BLOOD FULL OF BRINE
There was no pro con list for this decision. First of all because I didn’t feel comfortable basing my career (aka. Life) off a sheet of inked paper, but mostly because there wasn’t really a decision to be made. It would have been flat out dumb if I had turned down a new position, better pay, more opportunity, experience and responsibility, and the beach for what I have now. No offense current job. You got me in the door, you were my gateway job and an excellent one at that. But really, I would be beyond blond if I had turned it down.
Let me back up a bit (just for the sake of explanation and for those of you that might be saying what the hell is she talking about?) I have been offered a new position with the Outer Banks Tourism Bureau. It comes with a transformed job title: Events and Marketing Assistant (I can’t seem to kick that assistant thing). It comes with a pay raise. It comes with more responsibility. It comes with great co-workers (which I already have at the Division, but these new folks seem awesome too!). And it comes with a move.
I start pretty quickly, which has been why I am having such a hard time grasping all this. To be completely honest, I didn’t want to move until the new year, which is still 2 and a half months away. Naive, I’m sure, but that is the thing, I am naïve. I am young. I am 25. I have never made a decision like this before and I’m completely scared I’m making the wrong decision.
I have a magic eight ball on my iphone. I keep asking it the same questions: Is this the right move? Should I accept the job? Will I like it down there? Is this the right thing to do? Am I making a smart decision? I am officially pissed off at my magic eight ball and its bi-polar disorder. But I guess I shouldn’t trust my career (aka. Life) on magic eight ball either.
I’m just looking for someone to tell me what to do. Or more like I am doing is the right thing, since I have already accepted the position and written my resignation letter.
If I believed in signs, I would explain this as the Outer Banks reeling me back in. No matter how far I go (aka. Boone), I always somehow get back to the coast. I shouldn’t be complaining, I’m just trying to figure it all out. I know it’s in my family history, but is it also in my blood?
Let me back up a bit (just for the sake of explanation and for those of you that might be saying what the hell is she talking about?) I have been offered a new position with the Outer Banks Tourism Bureau. It comes with a transformed job title: Events and Marketing Assistant (I can’t seem to kick that assistant thing). It comes with a pay raise. It comes with more responsibility. It comes with great co-workers (which I already have at the Division, but these new folks seem awesome too!). And it comes with a move.
I start pretty quickly, which has been why I am having such a hard time grasping all this. To be completely honest, I didn’t want to move until the new year, which is still 2 and a half months away. Naive, I’m sure, but that is the thing, I am naïve. I am young. I am 25. I have never made a decision like this before and I’m completely scared I’m making the wrong decision.
I have a magic eight ball on my iphone. I keep asking it the same questions: Is this the right move? Should I accept the job? Will I like it down there? Is this the right thing to do? Am I making a smart decision? I am officially pissed off at my magic eight ball and its bi-polar disorder. But I guess I shouldn’t trust my career (aka. Life) on magic eight ball either.
I’m just looking for someone to tell me what to do. Or more like I am doing is the right thing, since I have already accepted the position and written my resignation letter.
If I believed in signs, I would explain this as the Outer Banks reeling me back in. No matter how far I go (aka. Boone), I always somehow get back to the coast. I shouldn’t be complaining, I’m just trying to figure it all out. I know it’s in my family history, but is it also in my blood?
New Tune Tuesday.
Sorry everyone. I missed new tune tuesday. Here it is a day late, but still awesome!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Can I make a pro con list for my career?
I’m an avid user of pro con lists. I think they are the fortune teller of decisions. The all for seeing eye. Seriously, if I had saved all the pro con lists I have ever made it’d be at least a foot high. But are pro con lists appropriate in every situation. Can I depend on a list when I’m dealing with my career?
I don’t even know why I am thinking of this, I must feel pretty confident that I will be offered the job I am interviewing for on Friday. I know I’m like the perfect applicant and all, but should I really be looking for apartments and figuring out my budget when I haven’t even been offered the position. It’s almost like I have already made up my mind that I’ll be moving back to the Outer Banks and tourism will by my career. Not just an intermediary job until I find the right fit or force myself to actually be an accountant, but tourism will be my life.
I think I’m stressing out about this because I never saw myself in tourism. Despite what my resume portrays and the fact that almost all my past job experiences have been rooted in tourism. I always saw myself being an eclectic art curator or even a teacher. The diploma always portrayed me as a wanna be CPA. My parents always wanted me to make lots of money and marry rich. So was it just luck of the draw that out of the 400 plus jobs I applied for tourism was what I ended up with and it was surprisingly a perfect fit? Was it the planets aligning? Was it fate? Or am I just looking too far into it?
Lets digress, none of this really even matters. I haven’t been offered the job. I haven’t even gone on the interview. I’ll save my pro con list until after that point, if I feel comfortable enough basing my career (and life) on a sheet of inked paper.
I don’t even know why I am thinking of this, I must feel pretty confident that I will be offered the job I am interviewing for on Friday. I know I’m like the perfect applicant and all, but should I really be looking for apartments and figuring out my budget when I haven’t even been offered the position. It’s almost like I have already made up my mind that I’ll be moving back to the Outer Banks and tourism will by my career. Not just an intermediary job until I find the right fit or force myself to actually be an accountant, but tourism will be my life.
I think I’m stressing out about this because I never saw myself in tourism. Despite what my resume portrays and the fact that almost all my past job experiences have been rooted in tourism. I always saw myself being an eclectic art curator or even a teacher. The diploma always portrayed me as a wanna be CPA. My parents always wanted me to make lots of money and marry rich. So was it just luck of the draw that out of the 400 plus jobs I applied for tourism was what I ended up with and it was surprisingly a perfect fit? Was it the planets aligning? Was it fate? Or am I just looking too far into it?
Lets digress, none of this really even matters. I haven’t been offered the job. I haven’t even gone on the interview. I’ll save my pro con list until after that point, if I feel comfortable enough basing my career (and life) on a sheet of inked paper.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
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